Two thousand and (who gives a fuck) thirteen

A blank page, a new beginning or just something I would call Bullshit. Within 24 hours the world will be celebrating the opening of a new year (2013 if you just woke up from a coma) and billions of promises and wishes will be made. I get the idea of wanting a Change but come on: let´s face it: most of you are just a bunch of idiots or my servants as I prefer to call you, so just lay down and see that you have already lost the game. But when normal people have probably been working on making themselves better in at least some sort of way not that any actual progress has taken place, I have reached a whole new level of laziness. I have stopped to give a single fuck. And mostly my education has had to take the hard hits of me not getting up from the bed in the morning.

And now you might think that my life has become more boring, because I haven’t been blogging much lately. At this moment so many things are going on in my life that I have considered getting a diary so that if I one day happen to become old and boring I might take look at the glorious days of my youth. But as I already mentioned, I’m lazy and I wouldn’t risk wasting my time on writing things with my bare hands (Note: bare hands should be pronounced with a massive amount of aggression).  Yes, so what could I tell you about my life without really exposing really anything? Firstly I think there is a great possibility that me, “the past anti-drugs person and anti-anything that could be thought as teenage behavior”, might become a future alcoholic and maybe fat, and also probably uglier. And saying this I’m not very pleased but as I am lazy I won’t be trying to get rid of any unhealthy habits. I have also discovered a really sad thing about myself, I might be heartless and I just deleted half of my text not completely bore you out with my “ I like to keep it real and just ignore all emotional drama and that crying is only allowed when watching my favorite characters dying on the Internet”

So I wish you all a happy fucking new year and hopefully you will be all making a hell of mess of your fabulous lives!

 

Two Crocodiles

 

Our journey began about 12 years ago. You had those two braids and you looked so innocent. Today looking back I wouldn’t exactly call you innocent, rather a Bitch with capital B. We have had a true love-hate relationship; sometimes we wanted to kill each other over an eraser and later cry over absolutely nothing and everything.  In the end we always made up our disagreements but only to start a new pointless fight after three weeks. The ugliest words have I dedicated to you, I have probably never been as mean to anyone else.

We both suck at expressing our emotions, we have never been one of those girls who gossip about who is the hottest boy or talk about who we have had a crush on. Instead have we had our little crazy world where any ordinary trip has turned into one hell of a mess.  If you only gave me a single look I knew exactly what you meant to say. Almost anyone who observes us while we have a conversation complains about how fucking fast we talk; it’s just that we both have so much to say that there wouldn’t be enough hours in a day left. We both have this irritating habit, no matter where we go we are always and always late. I might get late to my own funeral.

I can’t believe how we had anything to talk about those 9 years in elementary school that we were on same class and seeing each other every single day. You bastard followed me like a puppy and moved to same school as me on the sixth grade. I hated how you always had to go and shout out all of my embarrassing moments and make me look like retarded monkey. But I'm not the one who was a big fan of Amy Diamond. I felt so relieved when we both ended up in different high schools. But what if I had never met you , would I today be a different kind of person? 

You have heard all my stupid stories and so have I heard yours but still we keep telling them to each other. You still keep reminding me of that sharpener that I stole from school and I still can assure you with all of my heart that those birds which kept hiding from you were real. The first time I got drunk you were there and assured me that 3 ciders won’t kill me, at least not right away. When you got your first boyfriend I was there to laugh at you and making you feel uncomfortable.

 

I don’t really know how to explain us, but one thing is for sure; by all means nothing good can ever come of when we put our brains together.  Last existing proof of our intellectual level is from last weekend when we paid a high price to get into a club (OR I PAID SO YOU STILL OWE ME) practically  just to drink champagne in the bathroom and later finding a sneaky door that made us lock ourselves out in the freezing weather without having any coats.

We are so different; you could say we are the “Apples and Oranges”. Why do people even say like that, they are both fruits? Shouldn’t we instead say “Windows and Cakes”, I hope nobody eats windows.  Every time we have been asked whether we are best friends we have both shrugged, but if a monster would now happen to take all the Mudcakes from the world away from me if I wouldn’t acknowledge our friendship, I might say that you are my best friend.

 We are the crocos and you will always be my croco, we might not see each other for years in the future but I know everything will be like the old days when we meet again.  But remember, within a year our biggest adventure will begin.

Even when you’re 98 and ready to get rid of me, you will always be my crazy Bitch.

 

 

18 years ago an awesome person was born...

Finally I can walk in to a liquor shop and actually buy booze. And I can join my buddies whenever they go to a bar. Okay that just made me sound like such an average teenager. But I'm a practical person and I like buying things on my own. People often wonder whether turning eighteen makes you feel any different. Miracles happen. Today I had my last test of the whole damn High School, and of course it was on my birthday and what made everything even more great was that the test was a math test.  So what was the miracle? WELL I FUCKING UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING AND I MIGHT LIKE GET REALLY GOOD IN THE TEST, AND OMG, I ALMOST STARTED TO CRY DURING THE TEST BECAUSE OF REASONS: I'M A FUCKING SASSY SMARTASS.

 

 Too bad it had to take me 18 years to become smart…  Here is my new attitude song:

I'm lazy and I don't feel like blogging

Everything make sense now

PS. I have a secret.

Only their words count

I find it fantastic when there is some real conversation going on during class. Thinking out of the box is always healthy and interesting, BUT in my school 90 percent of the mouths being opened are owned by douchebags with absolute no respect. Just because they use fancy vocabulary while talking doesn’t give them a right to laugh at people who represents their opinions without any “cool” rhetorical tricks. Shouldn’t it be important that even that shy kid takes the courage to bring a new viewpoint into the conversation? Obviously not, all they care about is that they end up looking smart.

In life you have to take space, assholes won’t be giving it for free. As cliché as it sounds the world is pure evil, and if you let them, they will push you down in the basement. Even I, who couldn’t care less what most people feel about me and my decisions, feel kind of unconscious when 20 people stare angrily at me while I try my best to express my opinions. I fucking hate the fact that I blush easily, and it makes me feel like a fool. But even though people have always tired to turn me down I won’t be silenced..

 Peace. I have spoken.

 

 

这是星期五的母狗

 Officially the most awesome day of the week.  Every single Friday I get excited. Monday to Thursday I’m like fuck this shit, and on the fifth day I’m like fucking YEEES. All the knowledge of knowing that two mornings, I can wake up whenever I wish, I can be a computer geek 24/7 or additionally be social with friends and best of all is there NO SCHOOL to screw up my brains. Today a few things made my day; firstly getting E’s in both English and Finnish Exams; for once the luck was on my side, I bet someone had to die for my happiness. And then I remembered that only those who wish to get an even deeper insight in Math in the already advanced course have a lesson today, everyone else could begin the weekend at noon. But then again I might be the only one who didn’t show attendance.  The math geeks are as known, filled with madness.

Lastly I like to announce this question, or rather statement: Isn’t it just superb that Friday eventually comes every single week?

And here is a kickass song: